An Anti-Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

[SoftScope]

I firmly believe that some of the funniest jokes are anti-jokes. For those of you who don't know what they are, they are essentially the opposite of a regular joke. Completely.
So I'll post one a day, and feel free to post one you guys like.
Beginning with:
Whats green and has wheels?

Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

 

[Ethan]

Q: What did the homeless man get for Christmas?

A: Nothing.

Q: Why are black people so good at basketball?

A: Dedication and hard work.

 

[SoftScope]

Q: What's worse than a worm in your apple?

A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

 

[Bart]

Q: When is a door not a door?
A: Never

 

[NickHouston]

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

A:He was hit by a bus.


Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

A:Wheres my tractor?

---------- Post added at 01:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:51 AM ----------

Why was the boy sad?

Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

 

[felon]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was trying to visit its dying mother in hospital.

 

[SoftScope]

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile?

Get in

 

[Ethan]

Two cows are in a field.

They continue eatting grass.

 

[WaLLy]

 

[SoftScope]

WaLLy that is funny but not at all an anti joke...

 

[WaLLy]

Lol I kinda figured. Triceratops failed me

 

[Freeze]

Lol these jokes make me chuckle. Especially the one with the boy with the ice cream .

 

[Sargass]

Two fishes in a tank...and suddently one says to the other:

i cant believe we already are tuesday...


Whats white and cant climb to tree?

A fridge

 

[HIBred]

What do you call cheese that isn't yours.....

Stolen...

 

[TheDude]

Eagles soar...


But weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

[Rival]

Q: Two muffins were out flying, when suddenly one of them fell down. Why?

A: Because muffins can't fly.

Q: Two cows were out flying, when suddenly one of them fell down. Why?

A: Because he got hit in the face by a muffin.

 

[SoftScope]

How do you confuse a blond?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

 

[The Moment]

A gay man, a Jew, and an Irishman enter a bar.

What a fine example of an integrated community!

 

[AVC]

Lol I kinda figured. Triceratops failed me

What's got 6 legs, is green, and if it jumps out of a tree onto you, it will kill you?

A pool table

 

[MasterCLiP]