The War On Fat Bastards
People of the world, unite! The time has come. Time to declare war on the greatest threat to humanity. Fuck Osama Bin Laden, fuck Climate Change and fuck Nuclear War. The secret enemy is everywhere: Fat Bastards.
Oh yes, make no mistake about it, Fat Bastards are the greatest blight on the planet. Every day, Fat Bastards stuff their faces with our ever-dwindling resources. Thousands are dying of hunger and poverty while Mary Harney and Michael Moore order supersized in McDonalds.Time to wake up and smell the bacon before Brian Cowen scoffs it.
Fat Bastards are threatening the very existence of the planet! Global warming hah! If everybody on the planet was as fat as these bastards, the earth would run out of resources in six months! Six months! And the most terrifying thing is they’re multiplying. If current trends continue, by his time next year there will be twice as many Fat Bastards as there are now. And by 2012 there be 1.5 billion Fat Bastards in the Northern Hemisphere alone, at which point they’ll overrun our defenses and the whole planet will plummet into an apocalyptic dark age of lard where roving bands of fat bastards scour the countryside like locusts eating all before them.
The time to act: Now. The weapon: Ridicule. That’s right people, the only effective weapon against Fat Bastards is ridicule. So if you want to save the earth, if you want mankind to survive, the next time you see a Fat Bastard you better slag the fat arse off the fucker.
People of the world, unite! The time has come. Time to declare war on the greatest threat to humanity. Fuck Osama Bin Laden, fuck Climate Change and fuck Nuclear War. The secret enemy is everywhere: Fat Bastards.
Oh yes, make no mistake about it, Fat Bastards are the greatest blight on the planet. Every day, Fat Bastards stuff their faces with our ever-dwindling resources. Thousands are dying of hunger and poverty while Mary Harney and Michael Moore order supersized in McDonalds.Time to wake up and smell the bacon before Brian Cowen scoffs it.
Fat Bastards are threatening the very existence of the planet! Global warming hah! If everybody on the planet was as fat as these bastards, the earth would run out of resources in six months! Six months! And the most terrifying thing is they’re multiplying. If current trends continue, by his time next year there will be twice as many Fat Bastards as there are now. And by 2012 there be 1.5 billion Fat Bastards in the Northern Hemisphere alone, at which point they’ll overrun our defenses and the whole planet will plummet into an apocalyptic dark age of lard where roving bands of fat bastards scour the countryside like locusts eating all before them.
The time to act: Now. The weapon: Ridicule. That’s right people, the only effective weapon against Fat Bastards is ridicule. So if you want to save the earth, if you want mankind to survive, the next time you see a Fat Bastard you better slag the fat arse off the fucker.
